Thursday, January 28, 2010

Horrible Day!!

I'm preparing for the mother-load of all tests to complete my nursing degree, the CPNE. This is a 'clinical competency' exam to prove that I'm capable to function as a new grad RN. Sorry, I feel this is WAY WORSE than the NCLEX-RN. The idea of someone evaluating my performance is causing me to have constant heart palpitations and I'm currently addicted to OTC sleeping pills. The date I was given was sooner than I had anticipated and because Andy and I are more than ready to move on with our lives, I chose to keep it. I have spent the last 3 weeks scrambling trying to obtain important supplies and seeing if it was even possible for me to attend a workshop. As I look back now, I see LOTS OF WASTED TIME! And no, I'm not going to a workshop so on days like this, I feel like I'm on a suicide mission.

I began my day practicing my IV drip lab and am having a terrible time perfecting my technique. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong and need to meet with my infusion RN friend ASAP! I felt so defeated after doing this, it kind of set up the momentum for the rest of the day.

After struggling with the labs, I sent my Aunt Kathe a note on facebook asking her for saints to pray to for tests/nurses. She is the best Catholic resource ever and I will be investing in some prayer cards very soon.

Last week I cut up an index card with all of the areas of care, lab simulations and other various portions of the CPNE study guide. This is the only way I can zero in on what I need to- one thing at a time. Each day I force myself to pick from a small dish and pick apart each critical element. I have always been a 'note taker' and I don't know why. I find myself repeating exactly what is written in the study guide. I think it helps maintain my attention while Boldreading it. But when the day is done, I feel like I've done nothing more than WASTE MORE TIME!

At 3pm I checked the Electronic Peer Network on Excelsior's website only to read of another recent failure. By 3:30 I was at Meijer buying Stouffers Macaroni and Cheese and ice cream. By 3:45 I was shamelessy eating ice cream out of the carton... I have never done this before in my life! I'm afraid preparing for this test is going to cause me to neglect other areas of my life for the next few weeks. Eating, exercising and cleaning the house will probably not be on top of my priority list. This creates another element of 'unbalance' for me as I can't stand disorganization and clutter. Not to mention, so much for losing 10 lbs before my 'dirty 30' in March.

At 4:30 pm, I realized I need to do something to help keep my emotions in check as I prepare for this test. Here I am! I'm hoping this blog will help me stay focused and deal with this emotional roller coaster.. and hopefully receive feedback from others that have been successful at taking the CPNE.

For those of you that know me, yes, I am a highly anxious person. Especially when I'm doing anything that revolves around tests. Please do me a favor and quit telling me 'you always stress out about stuff and do great.' This is not about getting an A or a good grade on a test. It's all about my ability to make clinical judgments and doing it the way Excelsior College wants me to. I'm paying them a lot of money for them to make this decision.. ok, Andy is paying most of it, but it's a tremendous amount of pressure to do this right the first time!

8:30pm: I found some videos to help me with the IV Piggyback situation. Here they are:
IV Piggyback 1/4
IV Piggyback 2/4
IV Piggyback 3/4
IV Piggyback 4/4

1 comment:

  1. Erin,

    Did you PASS the CPNE?